To move on is..

OMG! It's been sooo long since my last post! Like I've said before, my story has come to the part where I have to tell you about ileocolostomy, which was the worst moment of all. I find myself just can't do it.. I still can't put myself to memorize those moments again and write about it.

For a little update, I'm still not pregnant yet. As the side effect of 2 times laparotomy, my fallopian tubes are blocked - both of them, yes. So.. it's pretty much a dead end for me. Unless I'm up for a laparoscopy to fix the blockage or IVF.. whichever I choose, I don't have the money for now.

To make matter worse, I suspect that the endo is back. These past 3 periods, I feel secondary dysmenorrhea - a sore right waist - from day 2 to about day 14 or even almost day 20! So I've only got apprx. one week pain-free.

How do I deal with this? I literally don't know. Just live a day.. Or maybe, I'm running away.. I don't know.. Completely clueless..

But I'm still here in blogosphere, I'm quite active in my other blog Living Daisy, in case you want to have a little chat about endometriosis.. Until then, stay healthy ;)

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Mission Baby: Start!

Exactly 3 months after 2nd surgery. I've had 3 periods (1st painful - 2nd no pain - 3rd a very mild pain), and 3 meetings with the doc. So far so good. Painful period has become and hopefully will forever be history.

Now I'm ready for the main program; a fertility mission. Honestly we've never been seriously trying to make me conceive - I got sick immediately after honeymoon, remember? However, with my disease, we need this program to not waste anymore time. Hurry before it comes back... Find out and treat any other obstacles which might exist as soon as possible.

Pentoxyfilin has been dropped. There are only 2 names listed on this month presciption; Naturol 400iu 2x1 and folic acid 1x1.

The next thing I need to do is HSG (hysterosalpingogram) on the 9th day of my cycle.... so it's still days from now since my next period is expected to come on around June 22. This is an X-ray test to see whether or not I have tubal blockage. And of course, as part of the program, my hubby will have to have a sperm analysis... something which I'm still wondering how the procedure will be like more than my HSG... (^_^)p

So now I'm anxious with the results even long before they're taken... My mind is fully loaded with what ifs.

Scares me like hell, but I have to move on and have no other choice. The road has been taken, where both the length and the end are still mystery... Mission baby has just started... Wish me luck, everyone! (^_~)

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